Being a respected man of letters, I am oft afforded the opportun'ty to partake in special picture-show galas before yourself, the common reader. This very evening I was invited to attend the premeire of a much heralded picture called "Avatar" by James Cameron. It was promised to me to prompt jaw slacking in the "Three Dimensional Eye-Maximum" theatre; being called so, I learn'd, because it projects picture shows in three dimensions: up, down and side-ways.
It was quite refreshing to see a picture in length no longer than two shows at the local nickelodeon. As frequent readers might be aware, it is quite taxing for me to sit thru several hours at the theatre and I often find myself distracted by other pursuits. I can quite astutely proclaim that Avatar is an ideal length for the gentleman on the go.
Being so short, the picture's director has quite a difficult job fitting in a satisfying story. It concerns Mister Jacob Sully, a chap sadly stricken with polio, who must travel on a space-aero-plane to the moon and make friends with the moon-men and moon-creatures that live there. Being that Mister Sully can not walk, he uses a marionette of a blue moon-man (or Ava-tar) to interact and make nice with the many moon-floozies.
Due to the costumes and other effeckts in this picture, it was amongst the most expensive ever produced, at nearly four-hundred and fifty American dollars. Being as it is so short, that seems to me as a waste. All of the newfangled gizmos and do-hickies on display were mildly impressive, but in an age that has given us Mr. Hoover's electric vacuum sucking machine, Dr. Scholl's foot products, the Victrola phonograph, and the paper-clip, I find that the truth is oft stranger and more stimulating than fiction.