Easy A

  
      A wanton celebration of harlotry and trolloptude, "Easy A" is a picture which purports to reference modern literature, to middling success. It bases itself loosely on "The Scarlet Letter", a new novel which I have not yet had time to read but which I have been assured concerns the themes of adultery and calligraphy. "Easy A", in contrast, devotes itself to an exploration of strumpets and tall tales.
       As an author of note and influence, I must take it upon myself to ask of you all, my simple readers, where have our heroes gone? Who are we idolizing in this age, that a picture trumpets the value of falsities and fallaceous fabrification? When I was a lad, I venerated such pillars of truth in our society as George Washington, 'Honest' Abraham Lincoln, and Millard 'Indubitable' Fillmore. Why, if I would have told a lie as a stripling I would have had my ears boxed, whereas the main character (play'd by a Ms. Emma Stone) not only remains woefully unspank'd, but becomes the talk of the town.
     The conflict in the picture occurs when the young tart runs afoul of a pleasant group of chaste, God-fearing youngsters. Led by Ms. Amanda Bynes, these moppets attempt to do the lord's work and convert Ms. Stone of her heathendom, to no avail. It is strange, but the picture seems to be presenting the group of Christian zealots who will stop at nothing short of destroying a young wastrel as a bad thing.
    Had I stayed to see the picture's end, I am sure that Ms. Stone would have learned to see the error of her ways and embrace religion and the virtues of truth and honor. Unfortunately, I could not stay for the entirety as it is the only time I am able to attend the horse races. Be sure not to mention that to Mrs. Von Copperpot however, as I told her I was under the weather this past week-end to avoid escorting her to buy a new hat.

Judgment Being:

2 of 5 top hats